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izatga88's Recent Entries

Where brain go?

by izatga88

Blah~ I've been wanting to post something new, but I've just been so out of it. I'm not sure why - it might just be that I'm not listening to my loop enough. I've been blacking out & losing control again. I keep slipping into this particular state now where it's like I'm watching MYSELF.....who's completely lost it and gone hardcore-bimbo......so lightheaded....

I actually spent about an hour or...maybe more(?) prior to posting this screwing myself silly.

I'm REALLY messed up right now. I noticed like a night or two ago that the thought hits me that it's like, disgusting to be treated like some dumb objectified sex-puppet. Contrarily, for the entire week, the second work stops and I either get back to my house or someone else's its just happens like -BOOM- I'm a total airheaded, sex-crazed slut all of a sudden. So combined, I get this sick feeling in my stomach when my switch flips because being seen/treated as a bimbo is upsetting........which totally contradicts (oh wow, I just blew a really nice gum-bubble) the fact that I am one and am turned the fuck on to no end by it.

I have hazy memories of the days when everyone in college admired me & were amazed at how smart I was. I both KNOW & ~feel~ like I'm a total ditz now. My automatic (lol - almost put "sl" instead of "a" there) response to something complicated is "that's hard, is there a guy or someone that can help me?" either at work or wherever else. I feel like I'm addicted to being played with and playing with other people - my BFF had her co-worker over & the two of us sucked him off together before he left. She practically had to pull me off of him....I just cant explain it - I NEED to have that feeling of someone's cock rocking back and forth in my mouth.....

Even typing now & being able to catch some of my spelling errors, I feel like I could just break out giggling at any second. I'll probably be spending the night either at home or my BFF's half-naked, horny, and with nothing but giggles on the brain. The tops of been wearing this week have been seriously letting my tits hang out all over the place, but I'm not compelled to do anything about it.

Comments

- izatga88

I'm totally tripping balls or however that's said right now - no idea why.

I kept remembering & then immediately forgetting this like 5 times or something:

There's been a thread or two I've noticed on the forums, when I've even responded to about hypnosis being permanent.....I'd have to say it is......anyone that says otherwise ~isn't doing it right~

- marin

On your next journal entry you should leave the spelling errors in. It'd be interesting to see the difference.

- StrippedGears

Iz, you're not some woman born too dim to self-determine. You decided one day to try out bimbofication, and where you're at now is a result of your choice. There is absolutely no shame in figuring out who you want to be and taking steps to get there. Hell, there's a lot of people out there who never stop pretending to be someone they're not just because they fear the judgement of others. It sounds like being a dumb, ditzy, giggly bimbo makes you happy, and shame on anyone that would judge you negatively for being who you want to be.

- mutatedbunnyboy

Careful, the conflict may cause a split personality. Its been a real interest to watch you Iz, you're downward spiral has been exciting to view. I hope you eventually remember that nothing needs to be permanent if you're willing to change, I also hope you realise that your ability to take things in isn't limited to just words that make you stupider. One can have the knowledge and thought of someone respectable and still have the emotion and desire that comes naturally to someone who truly enjoys sex. Positive reinforcement is key, learn something and reward yourself then try to remember it. If you can reward yourself again ;) little tricks like that and that's only IF you want to change again. You may be far too comfortable and lazy where you are now (in your current dim state) but ... Keep moving forward. You've made it, now I wonder if you can make it back and truly appreciate what you've done.I hope you keep posting Is, regardless of the directions you take. Good luck. P.s damn that guy is a lucky S.O.B

- izatga88

Heh, forget him - I was the one having all the fun. :p

Actually, his buddy really missed out. That was the night everyone was supposed to free & available to meet up, but the one guy had some business-related thing that he needed to get ready for at the last minute, and my BFF's friend arrived really late. Still had a fun time though~

Today was a lot better than yesterday. Just kind of watched some movies & stuff.

- izatga88

.....actually, now that I am finally home, I think I'm a little lonely. ._.

- mutatedbunnyboy

The lonelyness is a product if not knowing what to do with your free time. There are many things you can do when alone and its always wise to reflect on recent events. Of course you can always hide away with a toy, but there are other things as well. Don't be lonely, you sound like your life is filled with family that cares, friends that love you and fun to be had. :)

- izatga88

I was a good girl last night & left my headphones on from something like 11pm to 6am - yay!

And in response to the PM: "I could do anything I wanted", for starters, I'd love to be bent over & fucked multiple times so as to ~really~ get in the mood, and then have fun turning around & finishing you off using my mouth~

- mystic-wolf

Huh, i thought you wouldn't have sex unless found the right guy, but then again, your high libido must be quite uncontrollable, i hope though that you can fully achieve what you desire.

- izatga88

Urgh.....I woke up horny. ._.

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