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Ugh....I caved....

by izatga88

I really couldn't take it anymore. I'd lived something like half a year being horny almost 24/7 & with most of my body as sensitive & wanting as a giant pussy....I think it's unrealistic to live life without being able to orgasm and release those desires after hitting myself with such intense & frequent stimulation. Having the urge to pleasure myself or jump on someone, yet being unable to do anything about it was TORTURE.

I've had it in my head (& been trying to ignore it) ever since I got my PC working again that "I'm a bad little bimbo & need punished" or something it's still driving me nuts. Honestly, I cant take it anymore!!! @_@ I see NO way whatsoever that I'll ever be able to go back to the way I was before all this. Living as an air-headed slut is just SO fulfilling for whatever insane reason....(AHH!!! misspelled it as "like" o_+) LIFE just doesn't seem right otherwise.

Last night is a blur. I looped two of the bimbo files and a few of the boob-growing ones since they feel good & make the other stuff work more efficiently. I was in & out of awareness all night....the whole thing was just pure ecstasy - I woke up completely soaked. I was able to get a tiny orgasm afterwards, and I noticed my thinking and....something else I cant currently remember was a little off. I hate being bitchy all the time now, it's better to be dumb & oblivious and ready to please. I swear all I can hear in my head all day long is "slut slut slut slut slut".

It makes me wonder - if I'd never randomly decided to try out hypnosis, would I have just had an average & normal desire for loss of control in the bedroom? Reminders & desires are constantly bombarding my thoughts, and giving in just feels "right" and fuels my sexdrive. I cant stop it....the second anything remotely related to all of the brainwashing I've had starts, I lose all will to resist it. Another night or two of it should have me back to giggling & all that - being self-aware until then just feels weird. Hee....the thought just occurred that it would be fun and hot if I could.......brainwash a friend and totally make out with her? WHERE THE HELL IS THIS STUFF COMING FROM!??!?!? I need to go to bed. =__=

Comments

- nativedragon

well i'm gonna surrport ya no matter what IZ i just wish you could've resisted longer then you did :|

- Big_Mamba

Well on the one hand I appreciate that you turn to your desires again. On the other hand, how will you make your living ? How do will you earn money to live ? And what are you plans for the futre, how will you release you urge to be a bimbo for the you and the society ? greetings and good luck...

- mutatedbunnyboy

Good luck.

- izatga88

Yikes - that one filled up my PM box.

I think I might be able to work something out so that I don't derp out until I'm home at night, but when that stuff hits me....I feel fine now, but DAMN was I a mess before I woke up this morning. I really probably should have not gone with tons of "Curse" files....a proper trigger may have done wonders for me, but they don't work so well on me at the moment.

- BillionSix

I hope you can find a way to be happy. I also hope you can find some guy to be a regular source of cock for you, since you seem to be frustrated.

- izatga88

Thanks, I do too! :D

- Guuliar

You could always brainwash me O.o

- xHeartx

Been a couple days, how is it going?

- izatga88

Strange.

Ever since I went crazy on myself, I've been rather relaxed the past little while (though I've been doing tons of distracting PC work). Even though the raging sex drive has quieted down a bit, I've caught myself (with increasing frequency) doing some really dumb.....bimbo-y......sort of mistakes as if they just slip out.

- xHeartx

Isn't that what you're going for?

- Big_Mamba

Well, what si the slut in you saying about going to a swinger club or any else establishment, where sex and sexpartners can be found easily ? Maybe fucking off some pressure is you way to go ?

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